While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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what do you call two mexicans playing basketball? juan on juan

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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A Pakistani news reader.

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who is awesome? no one...

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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the WNBA

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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