If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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Bark I'm a tree

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops