If God gives you lemons you find a new God

My kids are mistakes.

Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

Oh s***

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

Stop Iran! We need the money.

Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...