What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down -15

wanna hear a joke? i dont

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -17

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops