Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the car stop To buy drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cliterus

thumb_up thumb_down -6

where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops