poop

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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