Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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