Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Women's professional sports

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save me from the nothing ive become

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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arena football

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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