A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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Faithful men.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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The WNBA.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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That's what SHE said!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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