What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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