How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

Neil is a reterd.

A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

What can make you pee? Liquid

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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