What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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Cancer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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