What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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the game

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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