A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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George Bush.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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Not a joke.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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