Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

What is red? A rock painted red

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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