Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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