why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Vaginal secretions

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops