Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops