What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Penis.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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Amazing

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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CAS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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