Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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I'm hungry.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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