Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

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Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Your grandma's cookies.

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Scott Gomez

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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