why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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