How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have no idea how to rhyme, I like tacos

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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