what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

vote this down and i will DOX you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dan walked into a jelly fish

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Coldpaly is a good band

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops