What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

what do gay people eat?? food

There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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