why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Women's rights.

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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Man U

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what do gay people eat?? food

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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