Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what goes woof ? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

CHAD'S A FAG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops