So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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