What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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this is stupid .... yep

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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women's rights, lol

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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