What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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hi hi strager danger

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops