Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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