Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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long in the tooth!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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