"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

i keep getting thumbs down...

where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

purple pickles

I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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