Alchohol.

Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

david weres the slug gone

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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