Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Once there was a frog. My parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops