Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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