What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops