What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Choir.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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