What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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