How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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