Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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what do gay people eat?? food

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Rick santorum

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops