Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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I woke up today

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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