Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -1

am i invited to party? no

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +168

A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

thumb_up thumb_down +102

What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +16

this site is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops