Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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24

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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A chicken walks into a barn.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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a woman votes!

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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