A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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