What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Black...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black guy walks into a basketball court.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is brown and wet? Muddy water

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops