What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

hard cheese

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

no

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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