- Anti Joke

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

Penis.

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... i love you, you love me He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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