Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops