I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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