Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

24

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Can I ask you a question? You just did

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

your brother so fine that hes skinney

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops