Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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knock,knock you suck

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Poop!!

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Bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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